RaNDom Musing #31: The Irony of Needing a Maid

I need a maid. 

There’s been no truer statement…in theory.  

However, the reality of my 10-year existence of living by myself is that each time I hire a maid, I end up paying her to motivate me to clean.  You know, the day before I know she’s coming I clean the heck outta my house / apartment to alleviate those potentially awkward “What would the maid think?” moments.  

Then I essentially pay her for, what exactly?

*sigh*

So, let me re-think this – I don’t need a maid.  I need someone to pretend to be a maid and schedule regular stop-ins at my place once a week...just enough to off-set my Tasmanian devil tendencies.  

Soooo...whatever you call that person, I need one of those.

{mis}Adventure #17 - Life in Dubai: Fran Turned Me Into a T-Rex

To be fair, this next experience isn't unique to Dubai. This could've just as easily happened to me in 'Merica as it did in Dubai.  However, the fact still remains that I started slacking on my crossfit activities, here, in Dubai and I also decided to start back up, here, in Dubai.

Wednesday was my first day back at the box (crossfit gym) and we did Fran:

21 - 15 - 9 Thrusters and Pull-ups

That is 21 reps of each,
                                followed by 15 reps of each,
                                                                        followed by 9 reps of each.

Sure, I was smoked, but I felt pretty good.  I was *back in action*...Woot!  That was Wednesday.  Today is Friday.  And for all intents and purposes: I am a T-Rex.  I'm so sore that I legitimately cannot straighten my arms past 90 degrees which leaves me with half my intended reach and mobility.

*sigh*

With that said, here are a few things that make life difficult for any T-Rex and is my excuse for doing absolutely NOTHING today besides bumming rides and sympathy off of my friends...

1. Getting out of bed: 
   
2. Using the facilities:
   
3. Taking a shower. This T-Rex hasn't tried this yet, but is convinced that it will be hilariously disastrous.
   
   
   
   
4. Doing hair...or makeup: 
   
5. Getting dressed: 
6. Picking anything up off the ground: 
   
7. Driving: 
   
8. Getting back into bed: 
   
   Should you become a T-Rex, this is where you should stay until the condition passes. Just keep in mind that you won't be able to lower yourself with your T-Rex arms, so...just kneel on the bed and plop down onto your stomach and call a friend...

{CLOUD} Being a T-Rex has its limitations.  So does being under the weather (either via sickness or self-induced semi-paralysis)...

SILVER LINING...but if you've got a good group of friends or family they'll help you pick-up, drive on and get through it all!

__________________________________________________________

Speaking of which, this T-Rex is about to attempt #2 on this list.  

Oh!  And I didn't dare go skydiving today when I saw T-Rex try this: 

This morning I woke up feeling like T-Rex.  When I wrote this blog and later went in search of T-Rex images to match, I found more than I could need at: http://trextrying.tumblr.com/ - good stuff and I hope my own blog paid homage to these excellent sketches!

{mis}Adventure #16 - Life in Dubai: A Parade of Nations (also known as: how to avoid being a sponsor of terrorsim while doing your grocery shopping in the local hypermarket).

So I went into the my friendly neighborhood hypermarket in dire need of some fruit when, all of a sudden, I found myself as an unwitting participant in a sort of parade of nations.  

I am well aware that the preceding statement makes no sense, so I present to you the following photos of the event:

...Kenya!

 One "Independent" participant...



....and Australia!

India......Egypt!

 Espana (or Spain)...!

China vs. USA!

An unlikely South African Duo and...


....Sri Lanka!

 America....


        viva la France and....


                                Iran?!

Pakistan  and....Turkey.

{CLOUD}If you're not in the parade, you watch the parade.  That's life.

SILVER LINING: ...but when that parade happens to keep you from sponsoring terrorism thru your produce purchases.  That's winning.

{mis}Adventure #15 - Life in Dubai: Adapters, Converters and Transformers. Oh My!

Meet my Foreman Grill: Big Red.

Big Red is special to me because my best friend heard my plea for a foreman grill so that I can cook my own food and stop ordering in.

Big Red has removable plates.  I can grill, make pizza, and quesadillas; if I so desire.

Meet my kitchen outlet.

You may have noticed that Big Red's plug is not compatible with my kitchen outlet.  Never fear because my adapter is here *da dut da daaahhh*

Meet my adapter.

When I plugged Big Red into this adapter and then into the wall; I thought that my adapter was actually a converter.  I'd been calling it a converter, and the silly thing continued to let me believe that it was, in fact, a converter.  However, my adapter is not a converter.  If my adapter were, in fact, a converter then Big Red would not have smelled like the burning of electrical wires and circuits.  I wouldn't have smelled Big Red at all.  Instead I would've smelled the grilled chicken that I wanted to prepare.

Meet my transformer.

It came into my life after the Big Red incident.  I foolishly believed that Big Red was okay and that I could still plug him into the adapter, into the transformer and the transformer into the wall and all would be okay.  That was not the case.  Big Red never stood a chance.

Meet my Foreman Grill, LBG - for Lil' Black Grill.


LBG was $15.  I had to buy him on a brief trip home to 'Merica and as a replacement for Big Red.  LBG's stature is attributed to the requirement that he be able to fit into the only piece of luggage I brought home with me: a backpack.  LBG does not make pizza or quesadillas, he just grills.  It's okay, though.  At least I have a Foreman Grill...that works.











{CLOUD}:  Sometimes we want all the bells, whistles, and all the frills and then only after a small tragedy we realize that...
SILVER LINING: ...it's not the biggest, baddest or flashiest, but the practical,the basic, the simple that will see us through.

{mis}Adventure #14 – Life in Dubai: (Not So) Universal Appliance Symbols

So, a few weeks ago I wanted to defrost some meat that I’d put into the freezer.  No big deal, I’d been using microwave regularly at that point.  A simple twist of the dial to the desired time and all was good in my kitchen.

I must admit I’d never paid much attention to the presets on my microwave during my daily microwave dialings.  So when I approached the microwave ready to hit the defrost button I was stopped dead in my tracks.  Truly bewildered by the image symbols that some international developer thought were clearly "universal".  I present to you my interpretation of the microwave settings on my friendly neighborhood microwave:

• Chef Button: Push this button to instantly become a gourmet chef
• Pot of Auto Fluff : Push this button to auto fluff – no wait, that would be a dryer…maybe this is a baking button?
• Crying Asterisk (Auto variant): Hmmm...this may be the defrost button. 
• Crying Asterisk (lightning bolt variant):  Wait, is this the thunderstorm button?! 
• Pot of Auto Steam:  I knew conventional ovens had a self-clean, now I have a microwave that does it, too...sweet!
• Clock: Timer?
• Notebook paper: Clearly, this is a poorly drawn bacon button – but I know my bacon, and this HAS to be the 'baconator' setting (you know?  push button receive bacon?  see the similarities?!)

• Smiley Face w/ Baseball Cap:  *sigh* shake head and walk away and give up, you can't pay me to push that button…Dubai Strikes again

Don't understand what I mean just from the word descriptions?  
Can't believe that these are real "universal" microwave buttons?  
Then I present to you my Dubai microwave:

{CLOUD}: It can be frustrating living somewhere new and different...

SILVER LINING:...but the hilarity that emerges from the situation will make the memories of your time there that much more enjoyable.  And hey, at least you have a microwave.  (And bacon, don't forget the bacon)

RaNDom Musing #30: 11 Random Things About Me & Other Questions

So...I've been tagged by my friend "my-run-is-not-done" and am WOEfully behind on responding.  Here are the rules and herrrrrre we go:

RULES

1. Post these rules.

2. You must post 11 random things about yourself.

3. Answer the questions set for you in their post.

4. Create 11 new questions for the people you tag to answer.

5. Go to their blog and tell them you’ve tagged them.

6. No stuff in the tagging section about you are tagged if you are reading this. You legitimately have to tag 11 people.

Let the randomness begin:

1.  My inner child is 12 years old.

2.  As a child, I used to try to make my dimples deeper with my pencil eraser - to this day, I believe I was successful.

3.  I legitimately thought I was 25 years old for the first six months of my 26th year on earth.
4.  I have already selected my daughter's name...even though I am not, nor have I ever been close to giving birth.
5.  I still don't "split the pole" when walking with others and I have been known to make those who do split the pole walk back around while saying "bread & butter"
6.  My inner fat kid LOVES alternately sweet & salty snacks (e.g., swedish fish with salt & vinegar chips, cherry sours & cheddar chex mix)
7.  My iTunes playlists are arranged by experiences vice genre (e.g., L(os)T in Korea - for LT years at Lost-in-the-Woods (aka Leonardwood) & Korea, iRock - for Iraq
8.  I'm a hopeless romantic posing as a hopeful romantic.
9.  I have too many hobbies, but I still try to keep up with them all...
10.  I have an unhealthy obsession with sneakers (namely Chuck Taylors and Pumas) and don't really own too many pairs of "big girl shoes"
11.  I don't know how to put on make-up.

Here are my answers to JME's Qs...

Questions:

1. What is your favorite kitchen utensil/appliance? The microwave & George Foreman grill.  They are a testament to my cooking desires / abilities.  No joke, I had a microwave cookbook as a kid - latchkey!

2. What fitness activity have you always wanted to try?  Hmmm...I don't think there's anything I haven't tried that I wanted to.  I know I have ZERO desire to complete a marathon.  Does that count?

3. Where did you take your best or worst vacation?  Best / worst vaca thus far:  Hurricane Earl in St. Maarten - seriously, I don't have a "bad time"  - always make the best of e'rythang ;)

4. What’s your favorite season? The one with no snow and comfortably warm mornings / evenings and cool breezes! (In America it's called Spring, but here in the UAE it's apparently known as "winter" - it's all relative)

5. Tap water or filtered water?  Is the tap water potable?  If so, them I'm good with that...

6. You have no distractions or obligations, how would you like to spend your day?  In my PJs and dancing around the apartment, then maybe a nice stroll or run...followed by dancing the night away oh, wait or watching a movie on the couch, IF I have a hunny to cuddle with!

7. How many bones in your body have you broken?  2 - and a front tooth.  I've also had 5 or 6 concussions.

8. Who is your fitness inspiration?  Hmmm...

9. Do you have a sweet tooth or a salty tooth?  See random item #6

10. What’s your favorite shoe style?  See random item #10

11. What are you most looking forward to doing when the weather warms up?  Whatever I stumble into...looks like that's skydiving this weekend!  Woot!!


Now, here are my 11 questions for 11 people:

1.  What was the last album you bought (or iTuned or Spotified etc...)?

2.  Where's the best place you've been this year?  This decade?  Hope to "have been"?

3.  What's the strangest talent you have?

4.  What's the hardest thing you've ever done?

5.  If you were a city, what would you be?

6.  If you were sand, what would you say to people on your beach?

7.  What's your "B" superhero power (e.g., able to know a text message is about to pop up seconds before the phone vibrates)?

8.  Should the guy always pay for the date?

9.  Parallel park or drive around the block?

10.  Bring sexy back?

11.  What's something you wanted to be / do when you were little that you've actually done?

RaNDom Musing #29: Conversations with My Roommate - #3: Special Delivery

[A couple nights before the below conversation, our upstairs neighbor had the stereo blasting - I was so pooped that I never heard the commotion.  However, my roommate was very perturbed by it.  When I experienced the same thing a few days later I should not have been surprised by his response, but , alas, I was...]

Me: Did you HEAR the neighbors thumping their music last night?!

Roommate: Nah.  Were they really?

Me:  YESSS!  It was kinda ridiculous.

Roommate:  That's it.  I'm going to have to mail them a dead fish.



[What?!]