RaNDom Musing #33: The Day I Found Nirvana.

[The below is a retelling of the discovery via discussion with my, now Germany-based #roomdawgsforlife, JME—the retelling occurred on Sunday, January 14th, but the events occurred on Saturday, January 13th, 2018]

So there I was...

So there I was, procrastinating on homework and work-work by watching the TV show Child Support (which is hosted by one of my first childhood crushes, Fred Savage). I can best describe the show as a cross between Who Wants to Be a Millionaire and Are You Smarter than a 5th Grader—except on Child Support the kids are your lifeline instead of your demise.  The show affords contestants an opportunity to play for up to $250K by answering open-ended questions of increasing difficulty. In parallel, there's comedian Ricky Gervais with a panel of kids who are asked the same questions. The show flips back and forth to the contestant's answers and the kiddo answers so you can get a feel for the type of knowledge the kids have. 

Anyway, all of the above about a game show is a set up to introduce you to *how* I came to discover Nirvana on this particular day. Watching the show, it became more than apparent to me these kiddos are less-than-knowledgeable about what I hold dear as pop cultural references from my own youthful years.  

Fred Savage asks the following question:

Often called the 'anthem of Generation X,' Nirvana's biggest hit is titled 'Smells like' what?

And of course, the kids did not know. Their responses?

Poo?!  Wildflowers! Trouble.  

The above question both solidified my belief about the kids' knowledge and made me feel really old. It also launched my hours-long discovery—for real it started just after noon and ended at 10 pm—of this band.

HaHa. 

Teen Spirit is probably the *only* Nirvana song you know... 

Of course, I knew the answer to the game show question, but I also wondered *why* the song was titled that. So I googled: Why is the song called "Smells Like Teen Spirit"?  and found an Up Venue article which revealed the backstory of Nirvana frontman, Kurt Cobain, being marked by an ex who notoriously wore Teen Spirit deodorant. 

The article begins by discussing the Iconic Riff of the song, the inspiration behind the song, and ends with an onslaught of videos in another Up Venue article called "Smells Like Teen Covers" with links to the best Teen Spirit Covers. It was during this YouTube wormhole that I read a comment on one of the covers that said: to those of you who like this cover, this probably the ONLY Nirvana song you know.

To which I chuckled one of those slow realization chuckles...dang, "Smells Like Teen Spririt" WAS the only Nirvana song I knew!

The time warp strikes again?! 

How could this happen? For those of you who don’t know me, to my friends it’s common knowledge that I missed the 1980s entirely due to what we call the time warp which is my euphemism for growing up in a third-world country and immigrating to the U.S., and having gaps in my pop culture knowledge because movies, TV, music, made it there at a different pace and timing. The gaps in my knowledge are often laughable and a source of incredulity among my friends whenever evidence of the time warp rears its head unexpectedly in conversations.

As a testament to how well-known this time warp is to my closest friends, as I recounted the Nirvana journey to JME, she offhandedly remarked — oh, you missed Nirvana…timewarp?

Then we slowly realized and almost in unison: No…that was the nineties. How DID you [I] miss Nirvana?

The best I could offer was that my foray into alternative and rock didn't come until a few years after Cobain tragically ended his life. You know, in my high school years where my friends were more diverse, and therefore my music choices happened to be farther and wider-ranging beyond the PG County rap, hip-hop, R&B, and go-go staples. 

That, and we didn't have cable. 

While I vaguely knew Cobain’s name and later came to know of Dave Grohl and the Foo Fighters, it wasn’t until the below journey that I realized his origins and contributions. It’s so bizarre and fascinating to retroactively learn about a cultural era — one for which I was very much alive and adjacent.

From this experience I realize, now more than ever, that my relationship with music tends to be more experiential than I thought. My life’s musical soundtrack is almost always about the song — how and when I discovered the song and what *I* personally experienced at the time. I have rarely had an interest in the artist’s backstory, but when I do, I dig until there is no more to be learned.

Admittedly, this often results in years-later understandings of the lyrics and…(sometimes) disappointment.

My path to Nirvana (come along).

In the span of ten hours the I ensued upon a Nirvana video-watching, Rollingstone article-reading, lyrics Genius song-interpreting journey. And in a matter of hours, I experienced what Nirvana fans experienced over the years—the joy, excitement, relatedness to songs, grief, pain, sadness, and reverence for the band.

It was [IS]...emotionally draining. It left me feeling, as Cobain said in the MTV Unplugged version of All Apologies "all alone is all we are."

If you'd like to experience what I did—then fear not—you, too, may go on your own discovery (or REdiscovery) of Nirvana. Below is a recap of how I came to know them, replete with links.

• The Story Behind Smells Like Teen Spirit. This is the article that launched my Nirvana journey.
  
  
• Best Smells Like Teen Spirit Covers. An article taking a look at the many covers of the song that shot Nirvana into stardom.  **READER BEWARE** There are 20 covers! I resisted watching the original video until after I'd consumed each of the cover songs. 
  
  
• Ten Best Nirvana Songs (according to Stereo Gum). When I got to cover #19, the Dubstep Remix, one of the commenters remarked that anyone who actually liked this remix probably never listened to any other Nirvana songs. So then I googled and found this article and went on to listen to what this link considered the Top 10 Nirvana Songs while simultaneously looking up the song meanings on Lyrics Genius.
  
  
• Kurt Cobain's Suicide Note. While listening to the "Top Ten" Nirvana songs and poring over the lyrics via the Genius website, I was surprised to find a link to the suicide letter. Reading this note, brought clarity to Courtney Love's name which I'd heard in the fuzziness that was my high school alternative/grunge music interest. I also read a bit about the Kurt Cobain suicide conspiracy theories.
  
  
  
  
• Frances Bean Cobain. In the letter I read Courtney’s somewhat familiar name, but I’d never realized/knew/recalled that Kurt Cobain had a daughter, Frances. So I went to Instagram and scrolled through a few of her pics. Smattered throughout, there are the few pics she has from her short time with her dad as well notes and memes.
  
  
• An Exclusive RollingStones Q&A w/ Frances on Life After Kurt's Death. April 2015, 21 years later. This article was moving to me, and the most impactful quote from Frances is below. 

Even though Kurt died in the most horrific way possible, there is this mythology and romanticism that surrounds him, because he's 27 forever. The shelf life of an artist or musician isn't particularly long. Kurt has gotten to icon status because he will never age. He will always be that relevant, in that time, and always be beautiful.  

• Kurt Cobain: Montage of Heck. Described as the "most intimate rock doc." As of this writing, I've only watched the trailer, but, according to my BFF and the other half of #KJandMacBindahouse, it was very well done, and I have to watch it, so I'll watch it soon enough. Trying to decide if to wait and get past the intense emotional experiences I've had in the past 24 hours or to just dive right in and let it all happen...
  
  
• One of Kurt Cobain's Final Interviews - Including Extremely Rare Footage. I think I found this one after reading where Frances thought her voice is like Kurt’s and then I realized that I don’t know if I’d ever heard Kurt’s speaking voice. I mean, why would I? Before all of this, I didn’t really know who he or Nirvana was, save for “Teen Spirit.”
  
  

All in all is all we are.

“All in all is all we all are” this repeated line of the song All Apologies resonated with me. It is an extremely complex Buddhist quote meaning "all things in existence are one." 

While I'm emotionally spent after all of this, I do find it extraordinarily coincidental and funny (in a the-universe-has-a-sense-of-humor sort of way) that mere days after taking serious steps to learn more about Buddhism, I'd found...Nirvana.

{mis}Adventure #18 - Life in Dubai: The "Thunderstorm" Button and Second Floor Floods

[The below events occurred somewhere around the last week of November 2012]

In my blog post about (not so) universal appliance symbols, I might have mentioned something about a thunderstorm button on my microwave and I kind of just left it at that.  In this blog post I'll elaborate a bit more...

For your reference, this is the famed thunderstorm button:

How do I know this is the thunderstorm button?  Well, how else would you explain the uncharacteristic rains that ensues shortly after pressing the button with no reaction from the microwave?  Friends were over and we must've pushed the button several times in attempts to maker the doggone thing work...no luck.  Then the following day:  rain...downpours and cars fording highway lane rivers.  Coincidence?  I think not.

Shortly after creating this weather phenom, I received a frantic call from my employees about an office flood.  Wait, what?!  You see, this was perplexing because our offices are on the second story above a significantly large / tall warehouse.  Which, in my mind, equated to flooding in epic Noah's Ark proportions to have reached second story offices.  Oh, my!

I later learned that it wasn't a gargantuan flood afterall.  Instead, we were merely dealing with the construction approaches taken for buildings in a place that doesn't normally have deal with rain (read: the roof leaked and ceiling tiles collapsed letting 24+ hours of rain).  

We could've lost a lot of our paper documentation that day.  We'd been in the midst of a debate about digital storage space to for our electronic records and other discussions about the cost-benefit of plastic binders vs. paper folders.   Interestingly enough -- plastic binders saved the day and we quickly saw the merit in timely digital backups! 

All I could think of as it rained and these events unfolds was the chorus to the Albert Hammond song "It Never Rains in Southern California"...naturally replacing Southern California with the desert of Dubai.

*Seems it never rains in [the desert of Dubai]

Seems I've often heard that kind of talk before

It never rains in Dubai, but girl, don't they warn ya

It pours, man, it pours*

{CLOUD}: Although we'd like to think it *never* rains...

SILVER LINING: ...we often find that it *never* hurts little extra coverage -- you know: umbrella, plastic folders, digital back-ups, an ark -- just-in-case!

PS: To answer Mr. Hammond's query. No. They did not warn me that it pours...

{mis}Adventure #19 - Life in Dubai: The Skydiver & the Camel Whisperer

[These events transpired somewhere around the last week of December 2012]

So there I was completing one of the two handfuls of skydives over the desert in Dubai.

Now I'm the kid who has a big cheesy grin  mid air and can't stop thinking "this is friggin' AWESOME"!  The freefall is exhilarating, but it's the serenity of being under canopy and floating down to the earth's surface that I like the most.   

When you pull the cord to deploy your parachute, we are taught to count to three.  "One thousand...two thousand...three thousand"...and if all goes as it is supposed to, the parachute opens and you feel the tug of the harness on your body the wooshing sound of the air yields to the serenity of almost silence.  At that point, we are taught a little rhyme to check the state of the canopy.  "Is it there? Is it square? Can I steer?"  I seem to always be about 5 seconds delayed in doing this particular check because I get caught up in the moment ('though I've been told that the day that one of those three checks is failed, it will be apparent and I'll quickly go into the necessary emergency actions).  

On this particular jump, I was enjoying the scenery looking around as I made my approach to the drop zone and I notice some tracks...and - oh crap!  

*welp* 

There goes the soft grassy area of the LZ.  I sailed right over it and now needed to adjust my landing for the sand...yet again. My new approach path is just over those tracks I mentioned and when I land and stand up I see a few camels just chillin' in front of me. 

Now I don't know about you (and I don't know about camels), but in this situation I just decided to talk to the camels who are looking at me and likely to be thinking one of two things: 1) "WTHk, was that a HUMAN, flying from the sky...they DO that here?!" or 2) if these camels are regulars at the DZ, then they are used to seeing flying humans and are just ridiculing me while shaking their heads,  "there goes another noob skydiver...they just can't seem to land on the DZ, can they?"

As I stand there, gathering my 'chute, I start talking to the camels in the most consistent and soothing tone ever because, well, I don't want to get stampeded, spit on, or whatever it is that camels do when they feel threatened.  

Hey there camels.  I'm just your friendly neighborhood skydiver.  Yes, I know that the DZ is over there, but here I am.  Just collecting my 'chute sloooooooowlyyyyyy.  I'm not gonna make any sudden movements and I trust that if I don't, you won't either.  I'm just gathering up the last bits and I'm going to walk away....

{CLOUD}: Somedays we just can't help that we've overshot our landing area or comfort zone...
SILVER LINING: ...when that happens, enjoy the scenery and use the opportunity to hone or develop a new or seldom used skill.

  

RaNDom Musing #32: A Not-so-random Musing on Army Football

Photo Credit to Chris Pestel
(http://chrisWpestel.com)

Breaking from the usual form of my blog, this post isn't as lighthearted as most, nor is it random.  It's the result of the repeat outcome of this year's Army-Navy game as well as an article I recently read and the mulling over of many other thoughts and opinions of the "State of Army Football". 

This article really got me thinking.  Some of what is written frustrates me to no end because while the reasons captured sound like excuses.  However, I feel like there has to be some validity to the frustrations expressed by multiple coaches over the years. I’m not posting in an attempt to validate those comments, or to whine, or add to the excuses.  I just have a few thoughts and one recommendation and am opening up for opinions and feedback.

The below is not based upon any knowledge I have of football, coaching or running athletic programs, because we all know that I have no experience in those areas!  I'm also not proclaiming to have more experience or insight than the Tiger Teams convened with experts to address this issue.  I am however, basing my comments upon my experiences as a cadet, recent reflections on my assignment as an admissions officer for West Point, and my current volunteer role as a West Point admissions field force officer interacting and working with cadet candidates.

When all is said and done, I’ll be drafting a letter to the Superintendent.  Just like with writing your Congressman, maybe it will get heard, maybe not, but I know I'll have given my input and not just provided another internet rant.

--------

When we talk about reasons why we haven't beat Navy, or more importantly, why we haven't had a winning football program in recent history, I hear all sorts of “reasons” from the war, to the football players having to balance athletics and academics and summer training etc.  I hear many grads (myself included) flex their sports team’s recent Navy victory and National championship stats and wonder why the heck the football team can’t do the same.  I also see a lot of people jump right to blaming the coaches and / or the athletic department's recruiting practices.  But I wonder, has anyone considered that the true limiting factor may be the academy’s admissions process? 

You can't give someone athletic ability and talent, but you can build on what’s already there.  The same is true for academic ability, and physical ability and the only non-negotiable is a candidate’s ethical character.  While [insert name of the Academy’s winningest and Navy-beatingest sports here] may have been fortunate enough to have athletically talented cadets on their teams because those cadets were admitted within the parameters of the current admissions process, perhaps there are dimensions within the process that may negatively impact our football program.  At some point in time, what the coaches see on the roster and on the team is what they’ve got.   If the admissions process is not setting the conditions for our success, then we need to re-examine it. 

In case you are asking: Why the emphasis on football?  What about the other sports? 

"Upon the fields of friendly strife are sown the seeds that on other days and other fields will bear the fruits of victory." –Gen Douglas MacArthur

That’s why. 

This quote is a mantra beat into our heads as cadets, we live it and we believe it.  Everyone plays sports; every one competes to WIN…period.  Going back to my earlier point, since so many other teams at West Point do have winning records and beat Navy with a fair amount of consistency, then I think it is more than fair to look at the team that does not.  We need to focus on the root cause (ask the 5 Whys), which I believe will lead us back to the admissions process.

When I worked in admissions this was the quote on my signature block:

"The nation that makes a great distinction between its scholars and its warriors will have its thinking done by cowards and its wars fought by fools." ―Thucydides*.

I kept that quote at the forefront of my mind because it is easy to get wrapped up in academics alone when working in admissions.  The thing is, West Point admissions differs from admissions for other colleges because our goal is not to maintain our spot as the most prestigious academic institution or to further our goals and boost our college football / athletics powerhouse status.  Instead, we are admitting candidates to groom them to become leaders of character for America’s sons and daughters and current Superintendent LTG Caslen puts it much better than I:  “When America puts its sons and daughters in harm’s way, they do not expect us to just ‘do our best,’ but to win…Nothing short of victory is acceptable. That fundamental ethos is at the heart of this academy. It must be ingrained in every one of our athletic programs. Our core values are duty, honor, country. Winning makes them real.” AND oh, by the way, we are still expected to be on par with schools the schools that signify the best and brightest while still having a winning athletic program.

To that end, cadet candidates are admitted based upon three things: academics, leadership and physical abilities.  This is assessed both upon past performance in the form of academic standing, ratings from professors, standardized tests, leadership positions held, sports team membership, and fitness test assessment – to name a few.  The board evaluates a candidate’s past performance as well as their potential for success, given the academy’s rigorous academic curriculum and physical requirements.  If the admissions board is willing to admit a candidate who brings exceptional academic skills to the table and may go on to be the next [insert prestigious academic award / honor here] for West Point – even though the candidate is borderline or weak in their physical ability, then one could argue that the same could be done in the case of athletics. What matters most is that this candidate’s character and leadership potential is consistent with what we look for in our Army’s leaders. 

In cases such as the aforementioned hypothetical candidate, the rationale may be that the candidate's physical ability can be worked on during his or her four years as a cadet. I am certain that along with the instructors in the Department of Physical Education, the cadet and his or her company mates will work out and work at improvements and there’s always those one or two physical studs who are willing to help out that classmate who needs it.  Similarly, if a cadet who is borderline academically is admitted, he or she can seek additional instruction (AI) and will likely study with their roommate or company mates (who may just be the earlier referenced academically exceptional candidate!).  The cooperate and graduate mentality is just as valuable to a cadet's leadership development and that sense of team that transfers to the Army.   

I think in the article Pete Dawkins – that is, West Point graduate, Heisman trophy winning, Rhodes Scholar, White House Fellow, retired Brigadier General, Pete Dawkins – alludes to something similar which resonates well with me:  “You can tell if a young person has the core qualities to be very able Army officers…It’s entirely fair to accept some risks and then tutor them and make them successful. I think it’s something we can do without compromising the standards and culture of the place…“We’re a national institution that should play against other colleges and institutions and all over the country...I think it’s crucial that West Point stand out as a place of winners. We owe it to the country. They deserve to have a winning Army football team.”  

 ____

* Note about the Quote: When I originally used this quote years ago, I attributed it to Greek Historian and Athenian General Thuycides, but knowing I'd be posting this article, I went back and found that thanks to my orginal hasty internet search for quotes, I'd improperly attributed the quote all this time and I've been truncating it.  The complete quote was made by General Sir William Butler and it reads: "The nation that will insist upon drawing a broad line of demarcation between the fighting man and the thinking man is liable to find its fighting done by fools and its thinking by cowards."  When you put it in context of the entire passage it really emphasizes the value of West Point's whole candidate approach to admissions.  The passage is available here on a Tufts University Almuni discussion board.

RaNDom Musing #31: The Irony of Needing a Maid

I need a maid. 

There’s been no truer statement…in theory.  

However, the reality of my 10-year existence of living by myself is that each time I hire a maid, I end up paying her to motivate me to clean.  You know, the day before I know she’s coming I clean the heck outta my house / apartment to alleviate those potentially awkward “What would the maid think?” moments.  

Then I essentially pay her for, what exactly?

*sigh*

So, let me re-think this – I don’t need a maid.  I need someone to pretend to be a maid and schedule regular stop-ins at my place once a week...just enough to off-set my Tasmanian devil tendencies.  

Soooo...whatever you call that person, I need one of those.

{mis}Adventure #17 - Life in Dubai: Fran Turned Me Into a T-Rex

To be fair, this next experience isn't unique to Dubai. This could've just as easily happened to me in 'Merica as it did in Dubai.  However, the fact still remains that I started slacking on my crossfit activities, here, in Dubai and I also decided to start back up, here, in Dubai.

Wednesday was my first day back at the box (crossfit gym) and we did Fran:

21 - 15 - 9 Thrusters and Pull-ups

That is 21 reps of each,
                                followed by 15 reps of each,
                                                                        followed by 9 reps of each.

Sure, I was smoked, but I felt pretty good.  I was *back in action*...Woot!  That was Wednesday.  Today is Friday.  And for all intents and purposes: I am a T-Rex.  I'm so sore that I legitimately cannot straighten my arms past 90 degrees which leaves me with half my intended reach and mobility.

*sigh*

With that said, here are a few things that make life difficult for any T-Rex and is my excuse for doing absolutely NOTHING today besides bumming rides and sympathy off of my friends...

1. Getting out of bed: 
   
2. Using the facilities:
   
3. Taking a shower. This T-Rex hasn't tried this yet, but is convinced that it will be hilariously disastrous.
   
   
   
   
4. Doing hair...or makeup: 
   
5. Getting dressed: 
6. Picking anything up off the ground: 
   
7. Driving: 
   
8. Getting back into bed: 
   
   Should you become a T-Rex, this is where you should stay until the condition passes. Just keep in mind that you won't be able to lower yourself with your T-Rex arms, so...just kneel on the bed and plop down onto your stomach and call a friend...

{CLOUD} Being a T-Rex has its limitations.  So does being under the weather (either via sickness or self-induced semi-paralysis)...

SILVER LINING...but if you've got a good group of friends or family they'll help you pick-up, drive on and get through it all!

__________________________________________________________

Speaking of which, this T-Rex is about to attempt #2 on this list.  

Oh!  And I didn't dare go skydiving today when I saw T-Rex try this: 

This morning I woke up feeling like T-Rex.  When I wrote this blog and later went in search of T-Rex images to match, I found more than I could need at: http://trextrying.tumblr.com/ - good stuff and I hope my own blog paid homage to these excellent sketches!

{mis}Adventure #16 - Life in Dubai: A Parade of Nations (also known as: how to avoid being a sponsor of terrorsim while doing your grocery shopping in the local hypermarket).

So I went into the my friendly neighborhood hypermarket in dire need of some fruit when, all of a sudden, I found myself as an unwitting participant in a sort of parade of nations.  

I am well aware that the preceding statement makes no sense, so I present to you the following photos of the event:

...Kenya!

 One "Independent" participant...



....and Australia!

India......Egypt!

 Espana (or Spain)...!

China vs. USA!

An unlikely South African Duo and...


....Sri Lanka!

 America....


        viva la France and....


                                Iran?!

Pakistan  and....Turkey.

{CLOUD}If you're not in the parade, you watch the parade.  That's life.

SILVER LINING: ...but when that parade happens to keep you from sponsoring terrorism thru your produce purchases.  That's winning.