{mis}Adventure #18 - Life in Dubai: The "Thunderstorm" Button and Second Floor Floods

[The below events occurred somewhere around the last week of November 2012]

In my blog post about (not so) universal appliance symbols, I might have mentioned something about a thunderstorm button on my microwave and I kind of just left it at that.  In this blog post I'll elaborate a bit more...

For your reference, this is the famed thunderstorm button:

How do I know this is the thunderstorm button?  Well, how else would you explain the uncharacteristic rains that ensues shortly after pressing the button with no reaction from the microwave?  Friends were over and we must've pushed the button several times in attempts to maker the doggone thing work...no luck.  Then the following day:  rain...downpours and cars fording highway lane rivers.  Coincidence?  I think not.

Shortly after creating this weather phenom, I received a frantic call from my employees about an office flood.  Wait, what?!  You see, this was perplexing because our offices are on the second story above a significantly large / tall warehouse.  Which, in my mind, equated to flooding in epic Noah's Ark proportions to have reached second story offices.  Oh, my!

I later learned that it wasn't a gargantuan flood afterall.  Instead, we were merely dealing with the construction approaches taken for buildings in a place that doesn't normally have deal with rain (read: the roof leaked and ceiling tiles collapsed letting 24+ hours of rain).  

We could've lost a lot of our paper documentation that day.  We'd been in the midst of a debate about digital storage space to for our electronic records and other discussions about the cost-benefit of plastic binders vs. paper folders.   Interestingly enough -- plastic binders saved the day and we quickly saw the merit in timely digital backups! 

All I could think of as it rained and these events unfolds was the chorus to the Albert Hammond song "It Never Rains in Southern California"...naturally replacing Southern California with the desert of Dubai.

*Seems it never rains in [the desert of Dubai]

Seems I've often heard that kind of talk before

It never rains in Dubai, but girl, don't they warn ya

It pours, man, it pours*

{CLOUD}: Although we'd like to think it *never* rains...

SILVER LINING: ...we often find that it *never* hurts little extra coverage -- you know: umbrella, plastic folders, digital back-ups, an ark -- just-in-case!

PS: To answer Mr. Hammond's query. No. They did not warn me that it pours...

{mis}Adventure #19 - Life in Dubai: The Skydiver & the Camel Whisperer

[These events transpired somewhere around the last week of December 2012]

So there I was completing one of the two handfuls of skydives over the desert in Dubai.

Now I'm the kid who has a big cheesy grin  mid air and can't stop thinking "this is friggin' AWESOME"!  The freefall is exhilarating, but it's the serenity of being under canopy and floating down to the earth's surface that I like the most.   

When you pull the cord to deploy your parachute, we are taught to count to three.  "One thousand...two thousand...three thousand"...and if all goes as it is supposed to, the parachute opens and you feel the tug of the harness on your body the wooshing sound of the air yields to the serenity of almost silence.  At that point, we are taught a little rhyme to check the state of the canopy.  "Is it there? Is it square? Can I steer?"  I seem to always be about 5 seconds delayed in doing this particular check because I get caught up in the moment ('though I've been told that the day that one of those three checks is failed, it will be apparent and I'll quickly go into the necessary emergency actions).  

On this particular jump, I was enjoying the scenery looking around as I made my approach to the drop zone and I notice some tracks...and - oh crap!  

*welp* 

There goes the soft grassy area of the LZ.  I sailed right over it and now needed to adjust my landing for the sand...yet again. My new approach path is just over those tracks I mentioned and when I land and stand up I see a few camels just chillin' in front of me. 

Now I don't know about you (and I don't know about camels), but in this situation I just decided to talk to the camels who are looking at me and likely to be thinking one of two things: 1) "WTHk, was that a HUMAN, flying from the sky...they DO that here?!" or 2) if these camels are regulars at the DZ, then they are used to seeing flying humans and are just ridiculing me while shaking their heads,  "there goes another noob skydiver...they just can't seem to land on the DZ, can they?"

As I stand there, gathering my 'chute, I start talking to the camels in the most consistent and soothing tone ever because, well, I don't want to get stampeded, spit on, or whatever it is that camels do when they feel threatened.  

Hey there camels.  I'm just your friendly neighborhood skydiver.  Yes, I know that the DZ is over there, but here I am.  Just collecting my 'chute sloooooooowlyyyyyy.  I'm not gonna make any sudden movements and I trust that if I don't, you won't either.  I'm just gathering up the last bits and I'm going to walk away....

{CLOUD}: Somedays we just can't help that we've overshot our landing area or comfort zone...
SILVER LINING: ...when that happens, enjoy the scenery and use the opportunity to hone or develop a new or seldom used skill.

  

{mis}Adventure #17 - Life in Dubai: Fran Turned Me Into a T-Rex

To be fair, this next experience isn't unique to Dubai. This could've just as easily happened to me in 'Merica as it did in Dubai.  However, the fact still remains that I started slacking on my crossfit activities, here, in Dubai and I also decided to start back up, here, in Dubai.

Wednesday was my first day back at the box (crossfit gym) and we did Fran:

21 - 15 - 9 Thrusters and Pull-ups

That is 21 reps of each,
                                followed by 15 reps of each,
                                                                        followed by 9 reps of each.

Sure, I was smoked, but I felt pretty good.  I was *back in action*...Woot!  That was Wednesday.  Today is Friday.  And for all intents and purposes: I am a T-Rex.  I'm so sore that I legitimately cannot straighten my arms past 90 degrees which leaves me with half my intended reach and mobility.

*sigh*

With that said, here are a few things that make life difficult for any T-Rex and is my excuse for doing absolutely NOTHING today besides bumming rides and sympathy off of my friends...

1. Getting out of bed: 
   
2. Using the facilities:
   
3. Taking a shower. This T-Rex hasn't tried this yet, but is convinced that it will be hilariously disastrous.
   
   
   
   
4. Doing hair...or makeup: 
   
5. Getting dressed: 
6. Picking anything up off the ground: 
   
7. Driving: 
   
8. Getting back into bed: 
   
   Should you become a T-Rex, this is where you should stay until the condition passes. Just keep in mind that you won't be able to lower yourself with your T-Rex arms, so...just kneel on the bed and plop down onto your stomach and call a friend...

{CLOUD} Being a T-Rex has its limitations.  So does being under the weather (either via sickness or self-induced semi-paralysis)...

SILVER LINING...but if you've got a good group of friends or family they'll help you pick-up, drive on and get through it all!

__________________________________________________________

Speaking of which, this T-Rex is about to attempt #2 on this list.  

Oh!  And I didn't dare go skydiving today when I saw T-Rex try this: 

This morning I woke up feeling like T-Rex.  When I wrote this blog and later went in search of T-Rex images to match, I found more than I could need at: http://trextrying.tumblr.com/ - good stuff and I hope my own blog paid homage to these excellent sketches!

{mis}Adventure #16 - Life in Dubai: A Parade of Nations (also known as: how to avoid being a sponsor of terrorsim while doing your grocery shopping in the local hypermarket).

So I went into the my friendly neighborhood hypermarket in dire need of some fruit when, all of a sudden, I found myself as an unwitting participant in a sort of parade of nations.  

I am well aware that the preceding statement makes no sense, so I present to you the following photos of the event:

...Kenya!

 One "Independent" participant...



....and Australia!

India......Egypt!

 Espana (or Spain)...!

China vs. USA!

An unlikely South African Duo and...


....Sri Lanka!

 America....


        viva la France and....


                                Iran?!

Pakistan  and....Turkey.

{CLOUD}If you're not in the parade, you watch the parade.  That's life.

SILVER LINING: ...but when that parade happens to keep you from sponsoring terrorism thru your produce purchases.  That's winning.

{mis}Adventure #15 - Life in Dubai: Adapters, Converters and Transformers. Oh My!

Meet my Foreman Grill: Big Red.

Big Red is special to me because my best friend heard my plea for a foreman grill so that I can cook my own food and stop ordering in.

Big Red has removable plates.  I can grill, make pizza, and quesadillas; if I so desire.

Meet my kitchen outlet.

You may have noticed that Big Red's plug is not compatible with my kitchen outlet.  Never fear because my adapter is here *da dut da daaahhh*

Meet my adapter.

When I plugged Big Red into this adapter and then into the wall; I thought that my adapter was actually a converter.  I'd been calling it a converter, and the silly thing continued to let me believe that it was, in fact, a converter.  However, my adapter is not a converter.  If my adapter were, in fact, a converter then Big Red would not have smelled like the burning of electrical wires and circuits.  I wouldn't have smelled Big Red at all.  Instead I would've smelled the grilled chicken that I wanted to prepare.

Meet my transformer.

It came into my life after the Big Red incident.  I foolishly believed that Big Red was okay and that I could still plug him into the adapter, into the transformer and the transformer into the wall and all would be okay.  That was not the case.  Big Red never stood a chance.

Meet my Foreman Grill, LBG - for Lil' Black Grill.


LBG was $15.  I had to buy him on a brief trip home to 'Merica and as a replacement for Big Red.  LBG's stature is attributed to the requirement that he be able to fit into the only piece of luggage I brought home with me: a backpack.  LBG does not make pizza or quesadillas, he just grills.  It's okay, though.  At least I have a Foreman Grill...that works.











{CLOUD}:  Sometimes we want all the bells, whistles, and all the frills and then only after a small tragedy we realize that...
SILVER LINING: ...it's not the biggest, baddest or flashiest, but the practical,the basic, the simple that will see us through.

{mis}Adventure #14 – Life in Dubai: (Not So) Universal Appliance Symbols

So, a few weeks ago I wanted to defrost some meat that I’d put into the freezer.  No big deal, I’d been using microwave regularly at that point.  A simple twist of the dial to the desired time and all was good in my kitchen.

I must admit I’d never paid much attention to the presets on my microwave during my daily microwave dialings.  So when I approached the microwave ready to hit the defrost button I was stopped dead in my tracks.  Truly bewildered by the image symbols that some international developer thought were clearly "universal".  I present to you my interpretation of the microwave settings on my friendly neighborhood microwave:

• Chef Button: Push this button to instantly become a gourmet chef
• Pot of Auto Fluff : Push this button to auto fluff – no wait, that would be a dryer…maybe this is a baking button?
• Crying Asterisk (Auto variant): Hmmm...this may be the defrost button. 
• Crying Asterisk (lightning bolt variant):  Wait, is this the thunderstorm button?! 
• Pot of Auto Steam:  I knew conventional ovens had a self-clean, now I have a microwave that does it, too...sweet!
• Clock: Timer?
• Notebook paper: Clearly, this is a poorly drawn bacon button – but I know my bacon, and this HAS to be the 'baconator' setting (you know?  push button receive bacon?  see the similarities?!)

• Smiley Face w/ Baseball Cap:  *sigh* shake head and walk away and give up, you can't pay me to push that button…Dubai Strikes again

Don't understand what I mean just from the word descriptions?  
Can't believe that these are real "universal" microwave buttons?  
Then I present to you my Dubai microwave:

{CLOUD}: It can be frustrating living somewhere new and different...

SILVER LINING:...but the hilarity that emerges from the situation will make the memories of your time there that much more enjoyable.  And hey, at least you have a microwave.  (And bacon, don't forget the bacon)